Hope your July is going better than mine! It hasn't been a bad month, but things have not really gotten better since my last post.
I've gained 4 pounds in a week. ONE WEEK!! Are you kidding me?? That's just from adding carbs back in to my diet in the amount the Nutritionist wants me to. I'm still really having a hard time with the fact I'm going to be marked as "non-compliant" because I'm not losing weight during this process, even though I've told everyone I've come in contact with that my 800 calorie/day diet is not helping me lose weight. Why do they think DOUBLING my daily caloric intake is actually going to help??? Hubby and I are going to bring all this up to the surgeon when I meet with him again on August 5th. It's not fair that I'm essentially being forced to gain weight, when all it is going to do is hinder the operation and the entire pre-op process!
I'm also on week 2 of not really being able to do much on my own. Threw my back out on the 12th, and it still isn't better. I keep trying to get back to my normal routine, but each time I try, I make my back worse than it was. Going to the chiropractor is an option, but that's going to put me down for the count for another two weeks while my back adjusts to being back to normal. Oh well...
Then to top all of this off, I went to my pre-op support group/protein tasting last week, and just found out last night that I was marked as a "no show" for it. Apparently signing in and participating in the entire event means you didn't show up. I sent them a message back letting them know I was there and I had all the documents from the support group meeting to prove it. I can even recap everything that was discussed, where I stood, and all that fun stuff. That was one of the days that sent my back healing process in reverse - I stood up for over an hour, in one spot. Not good. I refuse to have my process be held up in delays and be forced to do twice the work because they can't keep their records straight!! I'm going to make sure my surgeon is aware of this, too.
Sorry for all the ranting and raving, but I'm really beginning to feel like I've made a bad decision by going forward with this surgery. Mostly just because the Nutritionist I'm working with is treating me like a compulsive liar just because I'm not a textbook fat person. I'm really beginning to fully understand why my primary care doctor told me Nutritionists/Dieticians weren't worth it. They don't seem to want to look outside of the box, and this woman is not the first Nutritionist I've come across who refuses to believe my situation or what my doctor has recorded!!
In the end, the weight loss will be worth all the struggles I'm going through, provided I don't run into every other problem that could possibly come up. My husband tried to make me feel better by saying all the complications they listed in the documents I'm given are basically just like the side effects they list on medication bottles. I had to remind him that those side effects are listed for people like me - the ones who are actually affected by these things. If it's one of the first 3 side effects listed on anything, you can bet I'm going to have it. Drives me bananas, but that's the way things are for me. I can only take half-doses of OTC meds because of how my body handles them. Sudafed isn't supposed to make anyone tired, but I take one pill, and I'm out for the entire day. Benedryl? I have 20 minutes after I take ONE before I'm out for at least 24 hours. I'm actually kind of scared of the morphine drip after surgery. I didn't take anything other than Tylenol after having my gall bladder removed, and even then, I only took it once or twice.
Maybe things will start to look up in my mind when I get my car back from the repair shop. They should have my engine by the end of the week, so I'm hoping I'll have my car back in a couple of days. Seems like everything is just throwing me out of orbit right now; maybe if I have one normal thing back, everything else will feel right again.
Here's hoping...
*JC*
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