Wednesday, September 10, 2014

It's Almost Real!

Hiya, Critters!

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. There really hasn't been much to say, honestly.

August 11th I went back for my second sleep study. Apparently I have a mild form of sleep apnea. Yeah, when you wake up in a panic attack in the middle of the night not really sure where you are or why you feel trapped, breathing is the last thing your body wants to do. Needless to say, I didn't sleep at all during the second study, either. Having air forced down your throat all night is NOT a fun feeling!

A week after my second sleep study, I got a call from the sleep study place telling me I needed to follow up with an actual physician. They gave me the name and phone number of a doctor (who happens to be an hour away from where I live) who they had already sent my records to. I called the doctor a couple of times, and each time I called, I got their voice mail. I left messages, but have yet to receive a call back. I suppose my sleep apnea isn't really bad after all! I'm fine with it, though. I actually sleep at night, so I don't mind not having machines strapped to my face keeping me from sleeping!

All of my reports and results are completed and were turned in. I've been "cleared" for surgery by all the doctors and specialists I've seen. We met with my surgeon again yesterday to make sure we were all still on the same page and to kind of get a progress report on where I was in the process. Once we realized everything on my end was officially completed, I was told my insurance would be officially filed within a week. I will probably get a letter from my insurance company before the hospital does, but once the hospital gets their approval notification, I'll be just about set. I'll have one more nutrition class, one more meeting with the surgeon, a pre-op visit with the actual hospital, and then we'll schedule surgery! This entire process shouldn't take more than two months, max.

Holy crap. I'm in the home stretch.

I really can't wait to start getting some of this weight off. I'm so over feeling like a failure and feeling like I'm disgusting and shouldn't be seen in public.

Any time I go out, especially when I'm out with people who are skinny/skinnier than I am, I feel like everyone is judging me and wondering what this normal person is doing with such a fat person. Being tall, I always felt like I stuck out as it was. Now, I feel like I stick out even more. I'm ready to go back to being just tall. The days I feel like I actually look good, I leave my house, see my reflection in a window, and realize I'm only kidding myself. A pretty face doesn't make up for the way the rest of me looks. No amount of makeup is going to cover up all this extra fat.

Soon enough, I suppose. Hopefully this will all be worth it in the end!