Wednesday, February 4, 2015

A Long Time Coming

Wow. Months since my last post. I promised myself I wouldn't make that a habit again. In my defense, this time, I have a decent excuse. Not much has changed. At least, nothing really good.

In September, I met with my surgeon for what I thought was my final appointment before surgery would be scheduled. I had all my ducks in a row, and was ready for them to file with my insurance. It was an exciting time!

Three weeks later, I got a phone call that my cable company (who my insurance is through, since my husband works for the cable company) has decided I can't have surgery yet, and I need to work with a dietician/nutritionist for a total of six consecutive months. My insurance approved the surgery, but my cable company decided that wasn't good enough. Needless to say, I was LIVID.

I was then scheduled for three more visits at the beginning of each of the next three months with my last visit scheduled for December 2.

During both my October and November appointments, I was promised by numerous people at the surgical center that surgery would, indeed, happen by the end of the year. Even my surgeon promised it was possible. Finally, my life was less on hold since I had a more realistic time frame for when surgery would happen.

December 2 was a bad day in the middle of one of the worst weeks of my life. My sweet little girl (cat), Rayna, passed away unexpectedly on Thanksgiving. Even writing about it now makes me tear up. I miss her so incredibly much. Her death was somewhat of a good thing, though - had she not randomly died, I would never have paid attention to the fact that her brother (litter mate) was very sick. I called our Vet, who promptly came over (she's a mobile Vet - best thing, ever) on December 1 and diagnosed Stormy with diabetes. Had we not called her when we did, Stormy probably would have died. I firmly believe Rayna saved her brother's life.

Back to December 2. I was all ready to be told they would be filing my insurance that day. I had a final nutrition class scheduled for the following day, simply so we could get things rolling since I had to have surgery by the end of the year due to my deductible having already been met. After breaking down in tears because I had gained 6 pounds from the previous month's visit, the loss of my Rayna, and all the other stress I had been under, I find out surgery is not, after all, going to happen before the end of 2014. Again, livid. All the promises had been empty. I was beginning to lose hope that this was ever going to happen and began believing it wasn't even worth it. All of my emotions (anger, sadness, nerves, etc) culminated into one gigantic panic attack that sent me to the emergency room on December 6th, thinking I was having a heart attack.

I found out my surgery had finally been completely approved on December 18th. I rang in a melancholy new year with my husband and remaining cats (still the loves of my life) and waited.

January 16th, I finally got the call. My surgery was scheduled for February 9, 2015. Things began rapidly happening.

On 1/26, I turned 32. Two days later, I had my final nutrition class. Two days after that, I had my final pre-op appointment at the surgical center. That same night, I had a small Miche (amazing purses) party at my home. The next night, I had a birthday party. Sunday, hubby and I went to visit my parents, returned Mom's car, and picked up my last couple of fat-girl meals from them. Monday, February 2nd, I had my pre-op testing appointment with the hospital where my surgery was taking place. Luckily (if you want to look at it that way), my December emergency room trip saved me a lot of time at the hospital. Since I thought I was having a heart attack, the ER nurses and doctors conducted an EKG and some blood work, both of which were required for surgery. Those records got to be transferred over to my hospital, and there was that much less to be done.

Part of my surgery requirements include losing a significant amount of weight on an all-liquid diet. This helps reduce the size of my liver and helps reduce some of the fat that will be in the way during surgery. It is incredibly important to follow this diet, or surgery could be cancelled. The amount of time on the liquid diet prior to surgery depends on the patient's overall Body Mass Index. My BMI is high, but only requires one week of liquids before surgery. That started on February 2nd.

I'm only on day 3 of my pre-surgery liquid diet, but I've already lost 4 pounds since my January 30th appointment at the surgical center. I have followed it to the letter, despite my overwhelming desire to eat a sandwich.

The protein shakes I have are really good, and they're made with Stevia, so they don't bother my stomach as much as things made with sucralose do. Despite my Stevia tolerance, yesterday was awful. Monday night, I started to feel really sick. Yesterday was hell. I'll spare you the details, but let's just say my stomach was incredibly angry. Incredibly.

Today hasn't been so bad, but I've slept through most of it after being up most of last night with my angry stomach. I can't help but think this is just a small taste of what I'm going to have to deal with forever after surgery. In reality, I know that possibility is slim to none, but the nerves are still there.

My surgery is at 7:15am on the 9th. I have to be at the hospital at 5am. That means, everything I need to get done before surgery has to be done on Sunday the 8th since we only have one working car at the moment. My to-do list for Sunday keeps growing, which, of course, makes me incredibly anxious. I'm just ready to be home from the hospital and begin my pureed diet. Would you believe I'm excited for yogurt and tuna?? It's amazing what drinking protein shakes all day makes you miss!

I'm not worried about cravings now or in the future. I really don't have that many. I don't miss sweet foods (never really liked them all that much to begin with), and I will be able to have some carbs here and there after surgery (waaaaaay after surgery, and only teeny tiny amounts). It is all going to be worth it in the long run when I realize my clothes aren't literally twice as big as my husband's anymore.

This will probably be my last weight loss related post for a bit. I'll post again after surgery and I get more settled in my updated life.

Thanks for sticking with me thus far!